It’s true enough to be useful

I wish I had said that, but I’m quoting Igor Ledochowski, the founder of Conversational Hypnosis (or at least one of its most prominent representatives). This was his reply when asked if an assumption he is basing his work on was true. And he’s got a point, doesn’t he? Every theory we come up with for explaining how the world works is by definition a simplification and thereby distortion of reality (not to mention the fact that the question “what is reality?” can’t be answered unambiguously in the first place!). And this especially applies to psychology and any assumption about the human mind and human nature. Freud postulated that we’re steered by two motivational drivers: sex and death.  Now you might reject this idea, but it was very useful in its time and probably still is for a lot of people because it unchains them from emotional and intellectual patterns that have been imposed upon their lives by society, their families and peers and themselves. The fact that there have been found other motives and needs that can better explain behaviour just means that Freud’s theory is not the most useful truth any more.

I’m not talking about ethics here. I firmly believe that there are absolute truths as to how we should treat other living beings (including ourselves). I’m talking about how we see things and how this in turn influences what we say and do. For example if I think “Money makes the world go round” it does. At least subjectively because I will focus on those aspects of my experience that reinforce this conviction. The good old self-fulfilling prophecy. (And we all distort the crap out of reality, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to bear it. Or do you constantly think of starving babies in Africa and animal testing facilities? No? I didn’t think so.) Now what I have to ask myself is: Is it a useful assumption? Does it make me happy, successful, a good decision-maker? Because if not it’s ripe for the garbage heap. Seriously.  

Whenever I moved house in the past, I started with a nice cleaning and tidying session. I would go through all my stuff and decide: This is still useful or valuable – or not. And of course only take the good stuff with me to the new place. I think we should do the same thing with our mental stuff.

One of the major obstacles to changing habits is, well, that they’re habits. They’re like the clothes we wear – you don’t just change your style overnight. So here’s my suggestion: If you make changing your style a habit you get rid of that problem, don’t you? Literally doing that would be too costly, of course. And taking the point too far. But you can try the mental version of it – go through your closet of assumptions about the world, of problem-solving strategies (yelling at the broken computer is one of those garbage candidates) and other simplifying glasses you use regularly and ask yourself for each one: Is it useful? Does it make the world look brighter instead of duller? And then start making this tidying up a habit. How do you do that? It’s easy, just think back to how your nasty habit of xyz began, chewing nails for example. Studying for a test? Getting anxious? Distractedly putting a finger in your mouth just so that you could bite on something real instead of trying to crack open that intellectual nut? And here we go – a habit is formed. Now apply the same formula in order to form the mental closet habit. Too complicated? No problem – good old forcing yourself to do it over and over again will do the trick, too. Promise.

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Toronto Fun Facts Quiz:

1. Within a 160 km radius of Toronto lives _____ of Canada's population.
A. Half
B. One third
C. One quarter

2. On what building can one find a giant neon weather station?
A. Canada Life Building
B. National Trust Tower
C. First Canadian Place

3. How many languages are estimated to be spoken throughout the city?
A. 50+
B. 100+
C. 200+

4. Which one of these movie stars was not born in the city of Toronto?
A. Christopher Plummer
B. Mia Kirshner
C. Jim Carrey

5. The CN Tower held its record of the world's tallest building for 34 years, until the Burj Khalifa and Canton Tower were built. It now remains the tallest free-standing structure in:
A. North America
B. the Americas
C. the Western Hemisphere

6. A serious ____ occurred in 1995. It was the worst day in Toronto history.
A. Subway crash
B. Fire
C. Storm

7. What do Bloor Street, Danforth Avenue and McCowan Road have in common?
A. They are all the same street
B. They run diagonal
C. They all run west-east

8. In 2006, City Hall told which group of people to leave and never come back?
A. Charlie's Angels
B. Guardian Angels
C. Black Angels

9. Which of these cities is not officially part of the Greater Toronto Area, but is still considered by some as "part of Toronto"?
A. Oakville
B. Hamilton
C. Pickering

10. Toronto has had many city-nicknames along the years. How was Toronto never called like?
A. Hogtown
B. the City that Sleeps
C. The Big Smoke